Well before the bus from New York City arrived, hosts and hostesses, many accompanied by small children of their own, milled around the grounds of Watertown High School. Some were there to welcome Fresh Air guests from previous years, but most would meet their children for the first time in 1984.
My sister, Melinda Comstock, and our friend, Suzanne Hunter, had volunteered to join the Fresh Air Team to make the bus trip to New York and chaperone the group of 50+ kids coming to Northern New York. Imagine the mixed emotions of these children, between the ages of 7 and 17, on a five hour bus ride to a place so foreign to their familiar environment. They travelled under the banner of their own Triple A flag: Apprehension among those joining a family of strangers; Anticipation for those returning to a family where they were now honorary members; and Attitude and false bravado employed as self-protection by some.
To say most of the kids did not know what they were in for is an understatement. In the same vein, Melinda and Suzanne didn’t have a clue what to expect on the long bus ride. Wiping tears, settling arguments, and helping one boy whose anxiety manifested in nausea even before the bus doors closed, and continued for most of the trip, made for an interesting, if not exhausting experience.
I was one of the moms milling in the school yard, with my eight-year-old son and ten-year-old daughter. We were there to welcome eight-year-old Caroline, from the Bronx, to our rural home outside of Redwood, NY.
Prior to this day, all families hosting a child had been carefully screened by Fresh Air staff, including a home visit. There were numerous rules to be followed. Special hair treatments, such as corn rows were not to be removed under any circumstances. Family emergency contact phone numbers were provided, but we were cautioned against giving in to a child’s plea to call home as this might lead to unsolicited future contact. Other rules were basic safety and care of the child.
When the bus arrived, kids of all ages and sizes began exiting, each wearing a cardboard tag with their name and a number on it. Volunteers organized the group and began calling out host and hostess names to claim their guest. Some, like Suzanne, were meeting more than one child. Three teenage girls were joining her own family, including two teen age girls and two younger boys.
When our name was called, we stepped up to welcome eight year old Caroline. She was understandably shy, but did not appear to be fearful of this new experience. She was holding a black plastic garbage bag. We had to wait for Melinda to complete her chaperone mission and collect her visitor. Melinda had ridden the entire trip not knowing which of these boys would be leaving with her.
Looking back over the years I can now say that this was a match made in Heaven. Seven-year-old Joseph was a lively, animated, energetic boy who was ‘Mr. Personality,’ and still is.
After we all got loaded into my car, the connections began. Joseph and my kids seemed to hit it off right away. Caroline remained quiet during the 30-mile trip to our respective homes.
And so, our two weeks began. Caroline and Hilary were sharing a room. When I looked into her black garbage bag, I discovered that it was her suitcase. It contained one pair of pajama pants, three mismatched socks, two pairs of shorts and two T-shirts. All were soaking wet. Caroline told me her mom had stopped at a laundromat to wash her clothes before the trip. There was no tooth brush, nor comb and brush, or extra scrunchies for her pony tails. We were able to find enough of Hilary’s outgrown clothes to supplement her wardrobe. There was an extra bathing suit that did the trick. We picked up a few things at local stores and we were in business.
Over the next few days, the three kids gradually warmed up to each other. Caroline developed a bond with me that was literally “at my hip.” She followed me from room to room and frantically called my name if I did get out of her sight. I drew the line on bathroom privacy and she faithfully sat on the floor outside the door, calling my name and waiting for me to reappear.
Melinda and I had planned daily activities and excursions to entertain the kids. My own kids benefited from the VIP treatment planned for our visitors and were treated to sights they had not visited before.
One of our outings was on the Uncle Sam Boat Tour trip around the islands and the stop at Boldt Castle. My kids were amazed, Caroline was bored, and Joseph commented, “Yeah, I’ve been here before.” We chalked his comment up to his need to prove himself. Strangely enough, this little boy from the Bronx had also been to the very remote Crystal Lake near Redwood. No matter where we went and what we saw, Joseph had “been there, done that.” We soon took his comments for granted.
It all became clear the day we spent at Water Fun Village theme park. The big attraction was the water slide, and there were throngs of kids running all over the place. It became hard to keep track of our crew among so many. Joseph disappeared in the crowd, and Melinda and I both were panicking as we scrutinized the kids running helter-skelter, trying to pick him out. We finally found him with another family whom we happened to know. And they seemed like long lost friends. That’s because they were. Joseph failed to mention that he had been part of the Fresh Air program the previous year and had been a guest of this Redwood family. He really had been to Crystal Lake, Boldt Castle, and many other places we had dragged him to during the past week. We all had a good laugh and from that point on, believed every word Joseph said.
As the years passed, Joseph returned nearly every summer for his two weeks with Melinda and John. He became best friends with most of the gang my kids hung out with.
Eventually, Joseph was invited to spend February School Break with his A Bay family. His Bronx parents and “River” parents spoke often on the phone over the years and had established a bond of trust. They had the confidence to put him on a bus alone to make the trip from New York City to Watertown and then the return trip at the end of the vacation. Joseph became a two-season visitor. Each season’s visit was an introduction to skating, waterskiing, snowmobiling, house parties, skiing, snow shoeing, and high school dances.
As Joseph’s Senior year in high school approached, he shared with Melinda and John that his school was pretty much a joke. There were not enough desks for students in the classrooms, leaving many kids to stand or sit on the floor to participate in classes. There were not enough text books for each student, and apparently once attendance was taken, many kids checked out for the day to hang on the streets, with no repercussions. He asked if he could live with them to complete his senior year.
This was a decision that involved a great deal of consideration. Being a parent for two weeks was no comparison with being a parent from the day after Labor Day until the end of June. High school seniors have social lives, play after school sports, want to go to high school dances, and might even have girlfriends. Parents have to provide transportation to and from after school events, attend parent conferences, make tough decisions that kids don’t always agree with, stay up at night worrying and waiting to hear the kid come home from a night with friends, and so much more. The Comstocks realized that their decision could play a big part in the path Joseph had ahead of him. They made the right decision.
Once enrolled in the senior class at Alexandria Central School, Joseph’s friendships and participation in school events expanded exponentially. He was the “new cool kid on campus.” He was on the basketball team. The only problem was, his home was now on Wellesley Island; not within walking distance, a subway, or a city bus to after school activities, or all the entertaining things teenagers could think up to do on a Saturday night in a small town. Some of the boys had cars and trucks and were willing to pick him up or take him home. Sometimes he stayed the night at a friend’s house. Being the “mom and dad” to a relatively independent seventeen-year-old teenager was a new learning experience for the Comstocks. Joseph was reliable and considerate of how much this was a change for them as well, and seldom gave them a worry. However, he never did get his wish for his own car.
As graduation day approached, Joseph’s parents let Melinda and John know that his family, including his two sisters, planned to attend the ceremony. Their first order of the day was to purchase a car for the trip. The car had to be parked on the street for several days prior to departure, so it was necessary for a male member of the family to sleep in it, in order to maintain security in its vulnerable location. The family’s travel plans went without a hitch.
Joseph asked his “River sister,” Hilary Grimes, to be his escort as the class marched to their seats to the traditional song Pomp and Circumstance. There were no prouder parents that day than Joseph’s, who had made the trip from the Bronx, had placed their son in the trust of two people they had never met, and even purchased a car that would be sold immediately upon their return home. The second proudest parents and cheering section were Joseph’s extended River Family.
A graduation party for family, graduates, and friends was held in the Comstock’s yard. Of course, many people brought dishes to pass around and food was prepared on the grill. Joseph’s mom brought her favorite pans and all the makings for a Puerto Rican celebration feast. It was a wonderful sharing of culture and friendship, based on the bond of trust between two families who together had raised a bright, engaging young man from the age of seven to seventeen.
Following graduation, Joseph returned to New York City and became employed. He proved to be quite an entrepreneur. He and his childhood sweetheart married and are now raising their family of two sons and a daughter in southern Florida. Joseph coaches his sons in a youth basketball program and is his daughter’s biggest fan in her athletic pursuits. All three children are athletically talented.
He has never forgotten his Alexandria Bay parents or River family of aunts and uncles, grandparents, brother and sister, or the many cousins and high school friends. My own proudest moment was his surprise appearance at the Celebration of Life ceremony held for my husband, Hunter Grimes. He flew in from southern Florida to attend.
Melinda and John happened to be vacationing nearby in Florida when the birth of his first son was imminent. Joseph called them and asked them to join the family awaiting the birth at the hospital. After all the excitement of delivery was finished, with baby and mom safe, Joseph proudly presented Melinda with his son, Jaden, laying him in her arms.
During the years since that occasion, Melinda and John have thoughtfully included this author during winter-break trips to Florida. I am the “kid” in the back seat who calls out, “Are we there yet?”
We always make it a point to rendezvous with Joseph and catch up on all the news. The 2023 trip brought back a great memory and a reminder of déjà vu of the seven-year-old Joseph and his alleged first trip to the Thousand Islands.
Since we had moved to a different gated community from where he had previously visited us, we were attempting to give him clear directions to the new address and a description of the rental site. He assured us, “Yeah. I know. Don’t worry. I’ve been there before.” Of course, he had. One of his several jobs included him being employed as a delivery driver for a major pharmaceutical company. He frequently made deliveries to the residents, and was on a first name basis with the person at the gate. Yes, he had been there before. Joseph has always been one step ahead of us.
By Martha Grimes
Martha Grimes is a storyteller from Alexandria Bay. She was born and raised in Alexandria Bay. She and her late husband Hunter, raised a son and daughter to love and appreciate the River as much as they do. During her career as an educator, Martha taught various Primary Level grades at Alexandria Central School. Since retiring she has been actively involved with the Alexandria Township Historical Society and the interpretation of the Cornwall Brothers Store & Museum, in Alexandria Bay, NY. See all of Martha Grimes TI Life articles here and here.
Posted in: Volume 19, Issue 7, July 2024, People, Places, Essay
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